I hope the damn thing falls out of the sky (repost for your amusement)

originally posted in February 2008

Ok. Someone tell me why satellite television is so groundbreaking and advanced when the signal can't go around a fucking tree. This rant is a long time coming. Last week we had an appointment to have Dish Network installed at our house. We decided to go this route because the bastards at the cable company have and will continue to raise the rates. Of course it snowed and iced the day they were supposed to come. They day in question was a Tuesday. The rescheduled for Friday. Not a big deal but it didn't make a damn bit of sense to me. If the weather puts you one day behind schedule, then you move the schedule one day. Not the case. Friday rolls around and they are supposed to be here between noon and 5. Now I'm not naive and I know that that means that they will show up at 4:50. Not the case. They didn't show up until 7pm! They get out of their vehicle offer up a half assed apology for the wait and take a walk around the house. 90 seconds later he looks at me and says, "Sorry we can't get the signal because there are trees in the way." Big shock.

So after a day of fuming about this I decide to call Direct TV. The very polite woman claims that they point the dish in a different direction and they have more satellites than Dish Network and It would be no problem to get us hooked up. A ray of hope fills my heart. Today, I sat at the window like a kid on Christmas morning watching the Direct TV guy do an installation on a trailer across the street just knowing that I would be next and I would be watching TV in an hour or two. He walks up the driveway and looks around with his compass (looks like a viewmaster) and says "I might be able to hook you up but you won't get your locals and probably a few other channels."

HOLY SHIT!

I watched this guy put a dish on a trailer that is likely held together by duct tape and I can't have TV because there is a fucking tree on the hill!? And why would I pay full price for a service that is only going to be partially fulfilled? That would be like a hooker wanting paid full price when she leaves after the fluff.

My anger may be a bit extreme but I was really looking forward to saving some money and actually being able to watch an entire Reds game without having to worry if the dumbass at the cable office is going to flip it back to the purple channel in the middle of ninth inning.

I guess now I'm out of options and it's time to go crawling back to those money hungry bastards at Suddenlink. I promise one thing though, when we buy our own house, mark my word, there won't be a fucking tree within a hundred yards.